GREATER CLINTON.

By B. F. Mattison.

GEORGE JACKSON, switchman, is getting around again, and slowly recovering from the hurt he received to his back by letting a stationary freight car comb it as he was hanging to the side of a passing train.  A cane helps him out in his daily pilgrimage.  He limps a little just to show what he carries the stick for.  He can tell a fellow of fresh story just as well as before he was hurt, and seems to enjoy it as well as his listener.  He will soon be at work, if nothing happens.

JOHN CARSENS, of Beaver Island, has been clamming lately in odd hours, and he found, after cleaning up, the other day, a fine pearl, and thinks he may sell it if he gets the value of it.  Says it might look well in a ring, but not for himself.  "How would it look," he says, stretching out what one, at first glance, might mistake for the hand of Providence, "on that?"  We agreed with him that it would maybe be more fitting if mounted in a lady's ring, but there was no law against his having a pearl ring, if he wanted one.

THAT HOOK'S dog was not well brought up or he never would have taken a chunk out of Paddy Monroe's leg, when he was coming to his work Friday morning, perched on his bicycle.  Now Paddy's legs are long enough, and his feet big enough, to have landed that dog over in Scott county, if he had been free to use them.  He made up his mind that dog must die, and called upon the police to attend to it.  Officer Wright came down with his gun loaded, but the Hooks objected to a funeral from their house while the weather is so warm.  The dog still lives, and Paddy still limps around at his work, declaring at every limp that that dog must die, while the dog's Gopher Hill guardians say, "Nit, Paddy, nit."

Twice on Sunday last we saw Robb's hearse go by in charge of his German undertaker.  It led me to thinking that his competitor, Hans Haberly, must get up a little earlier.  Get on a little hustle after he is up or business will all go to the early bird.  Now, while  not as attractive as running a bank, still there is money in the business to those are engaged in it, for from the nature of it there is no fear of "trusts."  One does not care to wear a clothespin on one's nose while at work anywhere within three miles of the plant.  Those engaged in the business don't seem to mind it.  Well for them they do not, or their establishments would closed doors and hang out a sign reading "Disinfectant wanted."

WE ARE under obligations to Col. Smith of Camanche this week, for a fine musk melon, three inches of meat and only one-eighth an inch of rind.  Colonel, it was just immense!  Also for some tomatoes from a neighbor, and the Sunday morning Age.  If they keep on remembering me until frost comes, I will try and not touch the fund this winter of which Com. Bannister is guardian; won't need to Charlotte.  I find good neighbors are good thing to have around.

SHOULD it ever been my misfortune to get stranded while traveling, I hope to strike a place like Chancy.  A man from but State of Misery (where he literally starved out), anchored his prairie schooner, unhitched his tired horses, left his wife to care for their two little ones, while he went in haste for a doctor to come and prescribe for one of the children.  Doctor said: "It's pneumonia, and you must get it into a house right away."  Cheering news to a man without a friend or a cent in his pocket.  But friends sprang up all around him.  Mrs. Wm. Lake took them in for the night, while all in the vicinity stood ready to do what they could for the suffering and destitute strangers, to make them comfortable.  We learn that a house has been secured, and the man has been given work for himself and team, while strong hopes are entertained of saving the child.  Mr. and Mrs. Morris are sure they are once more in God's country, now they are in Iowa.

WE HEARD of the new way to pay off debts.  A man named Anderson keeps a restaurant here and hinted payment would be acceptable.  Whether they all owed him or not we did not learn, but for fellows pitched into him at once, intending to wipe out the score then and there.  Mr. Anderson was badly used up, or would have been but for his wife.  Mrs. Anderson interfered with a chair, and used it to such good advantage of the heads of her husband's assailants that she drove them from the house and camped on the field.

(Source: Clinton Mirror, Aug. 26, 1899)